[Howard sot] No laughing!
I hate children!
[Carly sot] Freddie, you know
this school has a strict rule
against turning your locker into
a time machine.
[Freddie sot] It's a
surveillance system.
[Carly sot] For?
[Freddie sot] Someone snuck into
my locker yesterday and stole
my fruit-scented markers.
So the next time someone breaks
in, it'll trigger this mechanism
which causes this camera to snap
a picture of the thief, so I'll
know that you took my markers.
[Carly sot] Sorry. I forgot to
tell you.
[Freddie sot] How'd you pick
my lock? [Together] Sam.
Of course. Hey, where's the
tangerine one?
[Carly sot] I'm not sure.
[Freddie sot] Hmm.
[Carly sot sniffs]
[Freddie sot] So what did you
need the markers for?
[Carly sot] To make that poster.
[Freddie sot] Oh, yeah. Icarly
50th web show spectacular.
Cool. Spreading the word.
[Carly sot] And the smell of
fruits.
[Sam sot] There. It's up. Can
you believe we're about to shoot
our 50th Webcast of icarly?
[Freddie sot] Insane.
[Carly sot] We gotta make it,
like, our best show ever.
[Sam sot] No doubt.
Hey, Jack, go long.
[Jack sot] Okay.
[Gibby sot] Oh, my god. Icarly's
having a 50th web show
spectacular?
[Carly sot] Yeah!
[Freddie os] In 5, 4, 3, 2...
[Girl vo singing[ I know you see
somehow the world will change
for me and be so wonderful,
live life, breathe air,
I know somehow we're gonna get
there, and feel so wonderful,
it's all for real,
I'm telling you just how I feel,
so wake up, the members
of my nation,
it's your time to be,
there's no chance unless you
take one, and it's time to see
the brighter side
of every situation
some things are meant to be,
so give your best
and leave the rest to me,
leave it all to me,
just leave it all to me.
[Howard sot lisping] This girl
is a menace. I want her
expelled.
[Franklin sot] What?
[Howard sot lisping] I want
her expelled.
[Franklin sot] What?
[Sam sot] He wants me expelled.
[Franklin sot] Mr. Howard, come
on. I realize it was wrong of
Sam to throw a football in the
hallway.
[Howard sot] She almost
killed me!
[Sam sot] Yeah, almost.
[Howard sot] I want
something done about this.
[Franklin sot] I understand,
sort of. Sam, you did break the
rules, so I'm going to give you
detention with Mr. Howard
tomorrow night.
[Sam sot] Fine. I'll be there
tomorrow--wait. I can't do it
tomorrow night.
[Franklin sot] Why not?
[Sam sot] I do a web show.
[Franklin sot] Yes. Icarly.
[Howard sot] Icarly?
[Sam sot] Yeah. Tomorrow night's
our 50th Webcast and it's gonna
be, like, a big thing, you know?
[Intercom buzzes]
[Woman os] Mr. Franklin, some
ninth grade boys are giving
gibby a Texas wedgie.
[Franklin sot] A Texas
wedgie? All right. Meet me there
with a bag of ice and a bottle
of lotion. Mr. Howard, you
finish up here.
[Sam sot] Wait. Just don't go--
you know, I think you look
better with that thing on your
face.
[Howard sot] Be quiet.
[Sam sot] Okay, but can I please
do detention next week?
[Howard sot] What, you think
just because you're on a popular
web show that you deserve some
special treatment?
[Sam sot] Yeah.
[Howard sot] Well, tough
kumquats.
[Sam sot] Tough what?
[Howard sot] Ow! Kumquats!
[Sobbing and muttering]
[Sam sot] Kumquats?
[Carly sot] Why'd you have to
get detention tomorrow night?
[Freddie sot] Yeah, way to go,
Sam. You just ruined icarly's
50th web show spectac--ooh,
popcorn.
[Sam sot] I read popcorn's one
of the healthiest snacks you can
eat.
[Carly sot] I read that, too.
Whoa, whoa. What is that?
[Sam sot] Two cups of melted
butter.
[Freddie sot] Don't pour that
all over the popcorn.
[Carly sot] It's full of fat and
calories.
[Sam sot] Okay.
[Carly sot] Don't drink it.
[Freddie sot] Why don't you just
go talk to Mr. Howard and
explain that it's icarly's 50--
[Sam sot] Tried that. Didn't
work. Hey, what if we kidnap
Howard and keep him tied up till
after the show?
[Carly sot] Okay, what have I
told you about kidnapping?
[Sam sot] It's illegal and rude.
[Carly sot] Good girl.
[Bell rings]
[Spencer sot] I'm home.
[Freddie sot] Where were you?
[Spencer sot] Down at the golf
course getting golf balls out of
the big pond.
[Sam sot] What for?
[Spencer sot] So I can sell
'em and buy art supplies for my
next sculpture.
[Carly sot] What will it be?
[Spencer sot] A gigantic coffee
cup, like 10 feet tall.
[Freddie sot] Why?
[Spencer sot] To symbolize
the largeness of some coffee
cups. They're big. I'm gonna
take a shower.
[Carly sot] Have fun.
[Freddie sot] So what do we do
about icarly?
[Carly sot] We gotta figure a
way to get Sam out of detention.
[Sam sot] Not gonna happen. Mr.
Howard hates my guts.
[Freddie sot] Maybe me and Carly
need to figure out a way to get
into detention.
[Carly sot] Hey!
[Sam and Freddie sot] What?
[Carly sot] Icarly live from
detention.
[Sam sot] Interesting.
[Freddie sot] You're serious?
[Carly sot] Sure. You and I do
something bad, we get detention,
then the three of us will be
together to do the show.
[Freddie sot] How can we do the
show with Mr. Howard watching us
the whole time?
[Sam sot] He hardly ever comes
in the room. He always hangs
in the teacher's lounge so he
can watch the geometry channel.
He's such a nub.
[Carly sot] The nubbiest.
[Freddie sot] Okay, let's do it.
[Carly sot] Awesome. So tomorrow
before school ends, you and I
have to get detention.
[Freddie sot] Yep.
[Spencer sot] You'll never guess
where I found this fish.
[Sam sot] Hey.
[Freddie sot] Hello, Sam.
[Sam sot] Why do you look all
guilty?
[Freddie sot] I did something
bad to get detention.
[Sam sot] What did you do?
[Freddie sot] You'll see.
[Palladino sot] All right,
class, everyone please sit.
[Freddie sot] Hey, gibby, go ask
Mr. palladino to staple those
together.
[Gibby sot] What for?
[Freddie sot] Just do it!
Go!
[Gibby sot] Hey, Mr. palladino,
can you staple these papers
together?
[Palladino sot] Certainly,
gibby.
That's odd. I don't see the
stapler anywhere.
[Freddie sot] I have it.
[Sam sot] Wow. You are a maniac.
[Palladino sot] I'm sorry,
gibby. I can't find the stapler.
[Freddie sot clear throat]
That's right, 'cause I took it.
[Palladino sot] Ah, yes.
Thank you, Freddie.
There you are, gibby.
[Gibby sot] Here.
[Freddie sot] Keep 'em.
[School bell rings]
[Teacher sot] All right, kids.
The sooner we start, the sooner
we finish. So everybody, let's
take your seats.
Aah!
What happened to my chair?
[Carly sot] I did it with
whatever this is. Do I get
detention?
[Teacher sot] Absolutely not.
An on-the-job accident means
the school has to give me a two
month paid vacation while I
recover. Bye!
[Sam sot] Dude, this is the
principal's office.
[Freddie sot] I know. I'm so
bad. Look what I did.
[Sam sot] Freddie says
principal Franklin...
[Together sot] Sucks eggs.
[Sam sot] Impressive. That might
get you double detention.
[Freddie sot] Yep. When
principal Franklin sees that,
you better believe he's gonna--
[Carly sot] Come on, Carly.
It's for the 50th web show
spectacular. You can do this.
[Fire alarm rings]
[Teacher sot] Who pulled that
fire alarm?
[Carly sot] It was me.
[Teacher sot] Thank goodness
you did. The microwave in the
teacher's lounge just burst into
flames.
[Man sot] Out of the way!
Out of the way!
[Carly sot] Who knew getting in
trouble would be so impossible.
[Freddie sot] I gotta give you
credit, Sam. You make it look
easy.
[Sam sot] Years of practice.
Hey, thanks for that fire alarm.
You saved me from giving an oral
report on Scarlett's web.
[Carly sot] You were too lazy to
read the book?
[Sam sot] I was too lazy to see
the movie.
[Carly sot] Now what? We're
supposed to do the 50th Webcast
of icarly from detention in
five hours and Sam's the only
one that's gonna be there. Why
is it so hard to get detention?
[Locker slams]
[Howard sot] Who slammed
that locker?
[Carly sot] Me.
[Howard sot] Detention! Tonight!
[Carly sot] Really? Yay!
[Howard sot] Yay?
[Carly sot] Darn.
[Sam sot] You did it.
[Carly sot] Yeah, but we still
need our tech producer and
school's over in three minutes.
[Freddie sot] How am I gonna get
detention in three minutes?
[Sam sot] You better, or else no
show tonight.
[Franklin sot] Yeah. Uh-huh.
[Freddie sot] Wait here.
[Franklin sot] I don't mind
stopping by crusty creme. I--
[Franklin laughs]
You heard I got the new pear
phone. Yep, these babies are
indestructible.
Hello, honey. I'm back.
Yes, I will pick up the donuts.
Mm-hmm.
[School bell rings]
[Carly sot] Man, school's over.
[Sam sot] And you didn't get
detention.
[Carly sot] Which means no
icarly 50th web show
spectacular.
[Sam sot] It couldn't be worse.
[Freddie sot] Yes, it could.
[Sam sot] How?
[Carly sot] We could be gibby.
[Gibby sot] They gave me another
Texas wedgie.
[Sam sot] Man, when Spencer said
he was building a gigantic cup
of coffee, he wasn't kidding
around.
[Carly sot] Where is Spencer?
Hey, Spencer!
[Spencer sot] I'm here.
[Sam sot] Is that thing filled
with coffee?
[Spencer sot] Just about 500
gallons.
[Carly sot] That's crazy.
[Spencer sot] It's okay. It's
decaf.
[Sam sot] Okay, but why are you
in there?
[Spencer sot] 'Cause after I
filled it with coffee, I dropped
my cell phone in here. Been
trying to find it for the past
two hours. Wish me luck.
[Freddie sot] I figured out a
way for us to do icarly tonight.
[Spencer splashing]
[Freddie sot] Is that a 10 foot
tall coffee cup?
[Spencer sot] 10-foot-2
[Freddie sot] I'm not gonna ask.
[Carly sot] Just tell us how
we're gonna do the show tonight.
[Freddie sot] All right. Is
there a closet in the classroom?
[Sam sot] Yeah.
[Freddie sot] You guys can hide
my tech equipment in there so
Mr. Howard won't see it.
[Carly sot] But what about you?
[Sam sot] You can't be in there
unless you have detention.
[Freddie sot] You said he's
almost never in the room 'cause
he's watching the geometry
channel in the teacher's lounge,
right?
[Sam sot] Yeah.
[Freddie sot] So as soon as he
checks roll and leaves, you guys
give me a signal and I'll sneak
in the window.
[Carly sot] But the classroom's
on the second floor.
[Spencer sot] You can borrow my
ladder.
[Freddie sot] Awesome.
[Spencer sot] You got detention?
Should I be concerned?
[Carly sot] Not really.
[Spencer sot] Later.
[Howard sot] Now, you are all
here because you are the worst
this school has to offer.
I am here because I believe in
punishment and discipline and I
hate you all. All right. I
will be down the hall in the
teacher's lounge watching the
geometry channel. While I am
gone, there is to be no talking.
I hope you have a terrible time.
[Sam sot] We're good now for at
least 10 minutes.
[Carly sot] Let's go.
Okay, everybody. We're about to
start the 50th Webcast of
icarly. You guys into it?
[All agree]
[Carly sot] Who wants to be the
lookout for Mr. Howard?
[Girl sot] I'll do it.
[Sam sot] Go signal Freddie.
[Carly sot] Right.
[Imitating a bird] Ca-caw.
Ca-caw.
[Freddie sot] Ca-caw.
[Carly sot] Do it like a bird.
[Freddie imitating a bird]
Ca-caw.
[Girl sot] Carly, what's the
signal for Mr. Howard's coming?
[Carly sot] Dippity-doo.
[Girl sot] Dippity-doo.
[Carly sot] Everybody sit down.
[Freddie sot] Pull me in!
[Sam sot] Too late.
[Freddie sot] Don't--aww.
[Howard sot] I heard noise.
What's going on?
[Sam sot] Nothing.
[Carly sot] We're just sitting
here having a terrible time.
[Both sigh]
[Howard sot] Good. Just sit here
and don't move.
[Sam sot] I'll get the stuff out
of the closet.
[Carly sot] I'll get Freddie.
[Carly sot] Ca-caw.
[Freddie os weakly] Ca-caw.
[Sam sot] Here. You wear the
cap-cam.
[Boy sot] Why?
[Sam sot] There's a camera in
it. If jerk-face comes back,
Freddie hides in the closet and
and we switch out Carly to the
hidden camera in your hat.
[Boy sot] Cool.
[Freddie sot] I fell on a shrub.
[Carly sot] Coast clear?
[Girl sot] All clear.
[Freddie sot] Then we are live
on the web in 5, 4, 3, 2...
[Carly and Sam scream]
[Carly sot] Why did we scream?
[Sam sot] Because...
[Recording of man singing]
It's icarly's 50th web show
spectacular.
[Carly sot] It's true.
[Sam sot] This is the 50th
Webcast of icarly.
[Carly sot] And it is
spectacular.
[Man singing] Spectacular.
[Carly sot] I'm Carly...
[Sam sot] And I'm Sam...
[Carly sot] And maybe you've
noticed...
[Sam sot] This isn't our usual
icarly studio.
[Carly sot] And if you haven't
noticed...
[Sam sot] Scrape that crud out
of your eyes.
[Carly sot] We're webcasting to
you live from our school.
[Sam sot] Room 29...
[Carly sot] Because we got...
[Sam sot] Tell 'em why we got
detention.
[Carly sot] 'Cause we're
naughty.
[Girl sot] Dippity-doo!
[Carly sot] You just heard our
friend Claire yell dippity-doo.
[Sam sot] Which means that our
horrible teacher Mr. Howard is
coming.
[Freddie sot] I gotta hide.
[Carly sot] Freddie's gonna hide
in the closet.
[Sam sot] And we're switching
to the cap-cam.
[Freddie sot] Switching to the
cap-cam.
[Howard sot] I have ears like a
hawk. I distinctly heard
laughter and I hate laughter.
[Sam sot] I thought you hated
your wife.
[Howard sot] Her, too. Now keep
your mouths shut.
[Carly sot] Isn't he charming?
[Sam sot] Freddie, let's go.
[Freddie sot] Switching back to
the main cam.
[Carly sot] We were talking
about the things kids do that
get 'em detention.
[Sam sot] Why, look. Here's a
gold member of the detention
club right here.
[Carly sot] It's ninth grader
rip off Rodney.
[Rip off sot] Please call me rip
off.
[Carly sot] So how'd you get
detention?
[Rip off sot] Selling fake hall
passes.
[Sam sot] Nice.
[Recording of crowd cheering]
[Carly sot] And how'd you get
caught?
[Rip off sot] I, uh...I
misspelled "hall."
[Carly sot] Two ls.
[Rip off sot] Yeah.
[Sam sot] Okay, so you got
anything else to say to the
icarly fans of the world?
[Rip off sot] Yeah. I got a
special this week on burritos.
Two for six bucks.
[Carly sot] And do they contain
quality meat?
[Rip off sot] No, they do not.
[Clamoring for burritos]
[Carly sot] And now continuing
with out game of hangman...
[Sam sot] J.D., it's your turn
to guess a letter or solve the
puzzle.
[J.D. Sot] All right, is it...
Mr. Howard eats pants?
[Sam sot] Correct!
[Carly sot] He certainly does.
[Sam sot] Okay. H-o-t--
[girl sot] Dippity-doo!
[Carly sot] Everybody hide!
[Freddie sot] Switching to the
cap-cam.
[Howard sot] Uh-huh.
Everybody's so innocent.
Do I smell burritos?
I have a feeling...
Who wrote this?
Who wrote this lie?
Never in my entire life have I
eaten one pair of pants.
Somebody gonna confess, or do
you all wanna do 200 push-ups?
[Sam sot] Principal Franklin
says you can't give physical
punishment in detention.
[Howard sot] Principal Franklin.
If you ask me, he's not even fit
to be in charge of this school.
He's weak. Spineless.
Well, I think I'm just gonna sit
here and stare at you gutter
children until detention is
over. And I think I'll add an
extra two hours.
[Carly sot] Just hang on.
Freddie has a way to get rid of
Mr. Howard.
[Howard sot] Hey, no talking to
that boy's hat.
[Freddie sot] Wesley, now.
[Wesley sot] Check.
[Beat boxing over p.A.]
[Howard sot] What in tarnation?
What is that?
Stay here and say nothing.
[Freddie sot] Switching back to
the main cam.
[Carly sot] Okay, now that
dippity-doo done gone...
[Sam sot] Next on icarly...
[Carly sot] Live from
detention...
[Both sot] Turtle races!
[Carly sot] Give him a kiss.
[Sam sot] Come on, give him a
kiss.
[Beat boxing over p.A.]
[Howard sot] Hey! You there!
Who are you?
Stop, you hooligan!
Remove your sack.
[Wesley sot] Yoo-ie, yoo-ie,
yoo-ie, yoo-ie, yoo-ie, yoo-ie.
[Cheering]
[Sam sot] We gotta go.
[Carly sot] Who says slow can't
be exciting?
[Sam sot] You can only get this
stuff at icarly.Com, baby.
[Door opens]
[Howard sot] Ha!
A video camera? Turtles?
Burritos? What is going on in
here?
[Carly sot] The icarly 50th
web show spectacular?
[Recording of crowd cheering]
[Howard sot] You're all really
in trouble now. I am talking
suspension. I am talking
expulsion. Deportation.
And you can all start with
500 push-ups. I don't care what
principal Franklin has to say
about it.
[Franklin sot] You don't?
[Howard sot] No! I--oh, dear.
Principal Franklin.
[Carly sot] Why are you here?
[Franklin sot] Well, I was at
home, watching the icarly 50th
web show spectacular.
Congratulations, by the way. My
kids and I love your show.
[Carly sot] Wow.
[Sam sot] Awesome.
[Franklin sot] While I was
watching, I heard Mr. Howard
call me a weak, spineless fool.
[Howard sot] No, no, no! I
said...Uh, sweet. Stylish.
Cool.
[Franklin sot] In my office.
[Howard sot] But I--
[Franklin sot] Now.
[Howard sot] Why does everything
always happen to me?
[Sam sot] So now what?
[Franklin sot] Well, I suppose
Mr. Howard has tortured you all
enough. Go home.
[Carly sot] Okay, we're just
about done.
[Sam sot] I'm Sam...
[Carly sot] I'm Carly...
[Franklin sot] And I'm Ted.
[Carly sot] And thanks for
watching the icarly 50th web
show spectacular.
[Franklin sot] May I?
[Sam sot] Second button from the
bottom.
[Recording of man singing]
It's icarly's 50th web show
spectacular.
[Sam sot] Bye! Keep visiting
icarly.Com. Don't forget it.
[Freddie sot] And we're clear.
[Carly and Sam sot] Yeah! Whoo!
[Sam sot] How fun is this?
[Carly sot] It's like a java
cruisee.
[Spencer sot] Who wants more
coffee?
[All sot] I do!
[Carly sot] This isn't weird at
all.
Captioning performed by
peoplesupport
transcription & captioning
[boy sot] Hi, Carly. Hi, Sam.
Watch what I can do.
[Plays song on guitar]
Icarly rocks.